That Was The Year That Was (Part Three)

Come to sunny Arbroath...

Lanterns on the Lake audition for new drummer

On a cheerier note it's been a great year for holidays, festivals and gigs. I spent a week in April with my boys up in Scotland, visiting my brother and his wife. We had a few days at a holiday home in Kenmore on Loch Tay, then back to their place in Carnoustie. I also showed the boys my old stomping ground of Lancaster and Morecambe on the way home. Easter was spent camping at one of my favourite places in the whole world, Llanthony in the Black Mountains. I had a lovely long weekend - despite the weather - on Cape Cornwall in August and the same month saw the annual "Dads and Lads" camping weekend at Kitts Cottage in West Sussex. I went to the Green Man Festival in the Brecon Beacons for the first time this year. Although it was hard work with two young boys in tow, it had a great vibe and the highlight was an amazing late night set by Explosions in the Sky. I also met up with some old Uni friends, Leanne and Sue, for the first time in over 25 years. September saw the annual trip to the End of the Road Festival. Again some great acts - The Fall, Lanterns on the Lake, John Grant, M Ward and She Keeps Bees to name but a few - but the highlight was spending all day Sunday in a 6 foot Clanger outfit! Other musical highlights of the year have included Low, Jonsi, Scott Matthews, British Sea Power, Ash and Interpol.

As ever, it's been a proud year for me watching my boys grow up. Jay goes from strength to strength academically and he is still very much involved in Stagecoach and other drama groups. As well as appearing with me in Franky Panky, which was a great bonding experience, he also did a week at The Big Act's summer boot camp, culminating in a Grease/Mamma Mia/Glee production, and he appeared in Sleeping Beauty at the Savoy in Monmouth just before Christmas. He has also pleasantly surprised me by taking a really keen interest in football, and especially Pompey, this year. Will has struggled a bit with the move up from Infants to Junior class, and from Beavers to Cubs, this year and he can be quite a "trying" child at times, but when he is engaged in something he enjoys doing he is such a lovely boy, and he has a wicked sense of humour and mischief which far outweighs the "difficult" side to his personality. His drumming lessons are coming on well and that's something we can build on in 2012.

There have been some negatives in 2011 - due to lack of time I've had to pull back from the reading groups I started up in Bradley Stoke, it hasn't been the best of years in the workplace and, as ever, I still have a lot to learn when it comes to relationships - but I don't want to dwell on those other than that 2012 will no doubt provide opportunities to improve!
 

So what does 2012 have in store?

Well first up, tomorrow in fact, I start a new project at work. It's a bit more responsibility in that I'm the Task Leader and it's something that's a bit more related to my MSc thesis, so I'm looking forward to that challenge. Talking of the MSc, I need to raise my game on that in 2012 and the first task will be to really get my head down and tackle the literature review.

Tomorrow also sees the resumption of rehearsals for Confusions, HTC's February production. This is quite a departure from HTC Singers and Franky Panky in that it is "proper" acting, albeit still a comedy, and it will be interesting to see how that pans out.

Finally, on April 22nd I will be dragging my body around the streets of London as I compete (using the word in its' loosest sense!) in the 2012 London Marathon. I've just been keeping the fitness levels ticking over since I found out in November I had secured a place, but now the training starts in anger! And I've got a couple of events planned for along the way - the madness that is the Slaughterford 9 at the end of the month, and the Forest Half again on 1st April. Depression and mental health has featured quite strongly in my review of 2011, so it should come as no surprise that my chosen charity for the Marathon is Mind, an organisation that does a lot of good work for people with mental health issues. My fundraising page is now open, so please give generously.

That Was The Year That Was (Part One)

Apologies for not having blogged for a while. It's a busy time of year, apparently!

Whilst I'm not a great believer in celebrating arbitrary dates in arbitrary calendar systems, it seems an appropriate time to reflect on what has been a pretty remarkable year and look forward to the coming twelve months. And I'll make no apologies for deliberately reflecting on the positives and achievements.

The biggest change in my life in 2011 is that there is now a lot less of me than there was this time last year. In January I enrolled with Slimming World and I have lost 3½ stone in that time. Not only has this had obvious health benefits but it has made a huge psychological difference to me. I've had to get used to people complimenting me on how good I look, which has been quite a novelty. I've had to buy a whole new wardrobe and I can shop in "normal" shops again. I can dress with confidence instead of hiding behind unflattering clothes. But most of all I feel in control of my body again, which is so important for someone like me who has confidence and self-esteem issues and who has in the past used comfort and binge eating to deal with depression. And I've met some great people in the Slimming World group. The eating plan itself isn't rocket science. I think what makes you lose weight is the support you get from your fellow slimmers at the weekly meetings.

Alongside Slimming World, I continue to run, which obviously helps with the fitness and weight loss. My daily commute is no longer cycling, it is mostly on foot now. I also ran the Westonbirt 10k and the Forest of Dean Half Marathon in 2011. A bigger challenge awaits in 2012, more of which later. Running also hugely helps my mental well being. I feel great after a good run. I feel in tune with my body and I feel in control. Conversely I get really cranky if I go more than a couple of days without a run, as was the case when I was injured over the summer.

My relationship with alcohol also changed in 2011. I went from New Year to Easter without touching a drop, until I was led astray in the Welsh Mountains. I was on and off the drink over the summer, but as I write this I haven't had a drink since the last night of panto (see below) which was a very distant 64 days ago. I wouldn't have described myself as an alcoholic - I never drank alone or at home and I could easily go without a drink for long periods - but if I did have a drink I found it difficult to stop at one or two. This in itself wasn't the end of the world, but the drinking sessions would lead to over-eating, tiredness, poor decision making and eventually bouts of depression which, if I wasn't careful, became a vicious circle. Not drinking has obvious health (physical and mental) pay-offs as well as financial benefits, and I still find myself going out and enjoying myself just as much, but without the downside. So I'm going to keep off the sauce until at least April 22nd (see below for the significance of that date) and see how it goes. 

HTC Singers

It's behind you...

Fugue live at Pucklechurch

In February I was taken along to a performance of On the Town and Lazing Around by Horfield Theatre Company and I liked it so much that I joined the company! Initially I joined their newly-formed choir, HTC Singers, and thoroughly enjoyed the experience as we worked towards our inaugural summer concert. I hadn't sung in public since school and it was pretty nerve-wracking, especially my solo during the Les Mis medley. But it was a very rewarding experience to find out what I was capable of, to bring together a thoroughly professional show and to make lots of new friends in the process.

Following on from the success of the summer concert, I was talked into auditioning for HTC's next production, a Halloween panto - Franky Panky. Remarkably I got through the audition and landed the part of a simple villager named Horst Roff, a part that involved singing (OK), dancing (not so OK) and quite a few lines (gulp!). The rehearsal schedule was quite gruelling and I especially struggled with the dancing, both remembering and actually doing the routines. There were many tantrums along the way, but come October half term it all came together and we again put on a great show. Once again it was not only the thrill of being up on stage performing, but it was also the camaraderie and the friendships made along the way that made it all worthwhile.

Another spin-off from HTC has seen me dusting off the old drumsticks and getting behind the kit once more, following the launch of Fugue. (The nucleus of the band comes from HTC). After several months of rehearsals, we finally got our act together enough to perform on stage on the penultimate day of the year! We did four numbers at Pucklechurch Open Mic and it seemed to go down pretty well. So here's to bigger and better things for Fugue in 2012...

Communion

On Friday night I had the pleasure of attending the launch of my friend Deborah Harvey’s first book of poetry, Communion.

Look, it was a long time ago!

I went to the University of Lancaster with Debbie, much longer ago than either of us would care to remember. It's probably fair to say that poetry was less a feature of our friendship then than, say, drinking beer out of plastic Viking axes. We kind of lost touch after we left, as this was back in the day, before the advent of social networking. However, thanks to Facebook, I found Debbie again about 18 months ago, and it turned out she was living back in the place where she grew up, less than a mile from where I was working!

Writing has always been a passion of mine, but I had allowed myself to lapse into a void of creative inactivity, so it was wonderful when Debbie invited me to join the local writers’ group that she attended, led by Kate Dunn. It was at these groups that I discovered Debbie’s remarkable talent for poetry. At the group meetings, we often read out our work for the others to critique. Although I don’t feel particularly qualified to do so, I can usually find some minor suggestion for improvement or constructive criticism when the others present their material. (They find a lot more room for improvement when I read out mine!) But when Debbie reads, she is more often than not met with awe-struck silence. Not just from me but from the whole group. 

There is clearly a lot of passion in her work. Her poetry comes from the heart, and whether you hear it spoken or read it from the page, you can immediately relate to a windswept Dartmoor, a character from Bristol’s turbulent past or an emotionally charged episode from Debbie’s own life. But there is more than passion to her poetry. Technically it is quite brilliant too. Structures, rhythms and rhymes are all crafted to perfection. And Debbie is clearly a lover of words. Not a word is wasted. Every word is carefully chosen for its meaning, sound and shape, and many an arcane word that we believed to be long-forgotten, has been resurrected on Debbie’s pages.

So it came as no surprise to anyone in the group when Debbie announced she had got her (first, of many) book of poems published. And it was a privilege to be there at the launch at Halo on Gloucester Road on Friday night. In a room full of family, friends and fellow writers, Debbie, and a number of guest readers, read poems from her book Communion, and local singer-songwriter Reg Meuross provided appropriately toned musical interludes. The warmth and intimacy of the event were entirely fitting, and I’m sure Debbie enjoyed her well-deserved night in the spotlight as much as we did.

'Communion' is published by Indigo Dreams, and is available from the following sites:

• Indigo Dreams
  
• Amazon
• WH Smith

We're All in This Together

Back in July I did something totally out of character. I went for an audition for a part in a pantomime. Quite ironic really, since one of the things to come out of my counselling sessions is that I have spent my whole life playing various characters and never being myself. However, because it's in the context of a panto, it's deemed to be "a good thing".

I didn't get either of the parts I auditioned for. But I did get a speaking part in addition to dancing and being in the chorus. And so now, some three months later, I sit here on the eve of Franky Panky opening, wondering what the hell I've let myself in for!

It's been hard work. We've been rehearsing twice a week for three months and on top of that we've all spent time at home, at the office, learning lines and songs, watching You Tube videos of dance routines and putting together costumes. I find it not only physically demanding, but mentally it's been such hard work too. At least two rehearsals have triggered bouts of depression where I've beaten myself up for not being able to do the dances and songs, and there have been a number of other diva hissy fits along the way.

But it's been fun. There hasn't been a single rehearsal where we haven't all fallen about laughing at the dame's latest bit of improvisation or the evil baron stumbling over his words. Sometimes we've even laughed at the script. We've really bonded as a company, we've worked together and played together and we've all helped each other get through the tough weeks.

And it's been rewarding. It's such a buzz when you actually manage to get a scene right or get to the end of a dance routine wihout falling over, and makes all the hard work worthwhile. From a personal point of view, it's been great working with my young son, who actually got me into all this in the first place and has a part in the panto. He probably knows his lines and dances better than anyone - his young brain is still unaffected by the ravages of time - and has been a real star helping me with my lines.

So, one last push over the next couple of days before the curtain comes up. Whatever happens when I'm on that stage, under the glare of the lights, I will look back on the last couple of months with pleasure and pride.

And I will be thankful that I won't ever have to listen to this again!

Horfield Theatre Company presents Franky Panky, a pantomime by Graham Barraclough
Horfield Parish Hall, Wellington Hill, Bristol BS7 8ST
Weds 26th to Sat 29th Oct. 7.30 each night and 2.30 Sat matinee
£8 adults/£6.50 conc/£25 family (2+2)

Tickets from www.horfieldtheatre.co.uk/tickets.htm or 07597 085934

The Voice of Reason

Great to see Billy Bragg on Question Time tonight.
He certainly showed up the odious Baroness Warsi and the legion of Little Englanders in the audience for what they are.
Nice one Bill.

Dumb and Dumber

They've been saying for a while that society is being dumbed down. It hasn't really affected me up until now. I don't really have a lot to do with modern society, if I can help it.

However, I went to the weekly pop quiz at the Prom last night. This quiz, quite rightly, has legendary status in Bristol. But I haven't been for a while and I got quite a shock last night. It's now billed as a "pop and showbiz" quiz and the room was full of "youngsters" instead of the usual clutch of middle aged men with bald patches, Mott the Hoople T-shirts and pints of real ale.

I'm now expected to know about JLS and their own brand of condoms, rather than Van Halen and their infamous brown M&Ms rider clause; about Pixie Lott not the Pixies; about X Factor instead of Generation X.

OK, maybe I should have known that the photo in the picture round was Paula Radcliffe, not Madonna! (But, to be fair, what's she got to do with showbiz?)

Separated at Birth?

Don't get me wrong, it's great to see the Prom busy on a Tuesday night and people out enjoying themselves instead of being sat in front of the TV. The Prom is a Gloucester Road institution and rightly so. It's just that part of me is sad to see the passing of one my life's last bastions of middle aged curmudgeonliness.