That Was The Year That Was (Part Three)

Come to sunny Arbroath...

Lanterns on the Lake audition for new drummer

On a cheerier note it's been a great year for holidays, festivals and gigs. I spent a week in April with my boys up in Scotland, visiting my brother and his wife. We had a few days at a holiday home in Kenmore on Loch Tay, then back to their place in Carnoustie. I also showed the boys my old stomping ground of Lancaster and Morecambe on the way home. Easter was spent camping at one of my favourite places in the whole world, Llanthony in the Black Mountains. I had a lovely long weekend - despite the weather - on Cape Cornwall in August and the same month saw the annual "Dads and Lads" camping weekend at Kitts Cottage in West Sussex. I went to the Green Man Festival in the Brecon Beacons for the first time this year. Although it was hard work with two young boys in tow, it had a great vibe and the highlight was an amazing late night set by Explosions in the Sky. I also met up with some old Uni friends, Leanne and Sue, for the first time in over 25 years. September saw the annual trip to the End of the Road Festival. Again some great acts - The Fall, Lanterns on the Lake, John Grant, M Ward and She Keeps Bees to name but a few - but the highlight was spending all day Sunday in a 6 foot Clanger outfit! Other musical highlights of the year have included Low, Jonsi, Scott Matthews, British Sea Power, Ash and Interpol.

As ever, it's been a proud year for me watching my boys grow up. Jay goes from strength to strength academically and he is still very much involved in Stagecoach and other drama groups. As well as appearing with me in Franky Panky, which was a great bonding experience, he also did a week at The Big Act's summer boot camp, culminating in a Grease/Mamma Mia/Glee production, and he appeared in Sleeping Beauty at the Savoy in Monmouth just before Christmas. He has also pleasantly surprised me by taking a really keen interest in football, and especially Pompey, this year. Will has struggled a bit with the move up from Infants to Junior class, and from Beavers to Cubs, this year and he can be quite a "trying" child at times, but when he is engaged in something he enjoys doing he is such a lovely boy, and he has a wicked sense of humour and mischief which far outweighs the "difficult" side to his personality. His drumming lessons are coming on well and that's something we can build on in 2012.

There have been some negatives in 2011 - due to lack of time I've had to pull back from the reading groups I started up in Bradley Stoke, it hasn't been the best of years in the workplace and, as ever, I still have a lot to learn when it comes to relationships - but I don't want to dwell on those other than that 2012 will no doubt provide opportunities to improve!
 

So what does 2012 have in store?

Well first up, tomorrow in fact, I start a new project at work. It's a bit more responsibility in that I'm the Task Leader and it's something that's a bit more related to my MSc thesis, so I'm looking forward to that challenge. Talking of the MSc, I need to raise my game on that in 2012 and the first task will be to really get my head down and tackle the literature review.

Tomorrow also sees the resumption of rehearsals for Confusions, HTC's February production. This is quite a departure from HTC Singers and Franky Panky in that it is "proper" acting, albeit still a comedy, and it will be interesting to see how that pans out.

Finally, on April 22nd I will be dragging my body around the streets of London as I compete (using the word in its' loosest sense!) in the 2012 London Marathon. I've just been keeping the fitness levels ticking over since I found out in November I had secured a place, but now the training starts in anger! And I've got a couple of events planned for along the way - the madness that is the Slaughterford 9 at the end of the month, and the Forest Half again on 1st April. Depression and mental health has featured quite strongly in my review of 2011, so it should come as no surprise that my chosen charity for the Marathon is Mind, an organisation that does a lot of good work for people with mental health issues. My fundraising page is now open, so please give generously.

Why?

The football world is still coming to terms with the shocking news that Gary Speed has taken his own life at the ridiculously young age of 42. As the tributes pour in (and why do tributes always “pour” in?) the question everyone is asking is “why?” Why did a young man, at the top of his profession, with a wife and two teenaged boys, loved and respected by everyone in the game, decide to end it all so suddenly?

It would be unhelpful and disrespectful to speculate as to the reasons behind Gary Speed’s suicide – nobody truly knows what goes on inside the mind of people with mental health issues, if indeed that was the case. But, to me, the saddest aspect is that, whatever demons had taken over his mind, or whatever problems he had, he felt unable to turn to anyone for help. He was clearly a popular man and had a lot of friends both inside and outside the sport. But the extent to which the world has been utterly stunned by his death shows he was unable to confide in any of these friends.

It’s a sad reflection on our society that the stigma attached to mental health issues is so great that many people see suicide as preferable to admitting that they have an issue. And it’s also a tragedy that people don’t realise help is out there. Family and friends will listen, and they will understand, because they love you come what may. Mental illness is just that – an illness. It’s not your fault, it’s not a weakness, it’s just an illness that can affect anyone. And if you don’t feel you can turn to your loved ones, there are professionals who can help. Despite the government’s best efforts, we still have a wonderful mental health care system in this country and your GP should be your first port of call. But organisations like Mind, SANE and the MHF, and, if you do find yourself seemingly at the point of no return, the Samaritans, are also there to help.

As I mentioned in my last blog post, I’ve managed to get a place in the 2012 London Marathon. I’d already more or less made the decision to run for a charity, but Sunday’s events, and the realisation that, had I not turned to the professionals for help, that could easily have been me one day, have persuaded me that I should run for Mind. I’ll be setting up a fundraising page shortly. Hopefully I can raise some much needed cash and, equally importantly, raise people’s awareness of mental health issues and help break down the stigma surrounding mental illness. Your support will be greatly appreciated.

Gary Speed

8 September 1969 – 27 November 2011

RIP