Saturday 14 January 2012

The Wedding List

Today at Claire Hamilton's creative writing group over in the Wye Valley, we were playing with the use of lists in contemporary fiction. The group seemed to quite like what I came up with in the 10-minute exercise, so I thought I'd reproduce it here.

THE WEDDING LIST

Melanie (29, single, Jilly Cooper, cats, Michael Bublé) looked at John (32, divorced, Stephen King, dogs, Van Halen) and threw her hands up in despair.

“How are we going to get this down to 60?” she shrieked.
“OK. Let’s start with the easy ones.

Top table.
  • Me
  • You
  • My mum and dad
  • Your mum and dad
  • Best man. Phil
  • Bridesmaid. Helen
OK?”
“OK”

 “Your sister.
  • Vegetarian.
  • Man-eater.
  • Will drink the bar dry of vodka”
“Yep. Your brother”
“OK. But don’t put him near
  • Uncle Paul
  • Auntie Mabel
  • The vicar
  • The bar”
“What about Jim and Karen?”
“OK, but then you have to invite their kids.”
“Oh yeah. What are they called?
  • Hope
  • Charity
  • Destiny
  • Faith
  • Err….”
“You forgot Innocence and Bliss”
“OK, stop. Cross them off”

“Who else?”
“Uncle Basil (72, lecherous, racist, crashing bore)”

“No. Gary and Kelly. On. Off. On. Off. On. Off…”
“Maybe not”

“Look, can we forget about this for now and do something else?”
“OK, how about the music?”
“Easy”
“What?”
“Liszt!”



No comments: